When I told Steve that the plant next to him was lavender eventually his right hand swept out in a languid fashion so that his fingers could sweep through the leaves. He then brought his fingers to his face to smell. It took just a little more time than before for thought to become action. I was able to wait in that space to see things evolve … I don’t always have that patience … but that particular day I did and so as I look out on the porch now and see the lavender swaying in the evening breeze it brings a smile to me. I did remind him that lavender is edible but that went in one ear and out the other.
Earlier today, as Steve sliced some mushrooms, I asked, “Has anyone ever called you stubborn?” He replied, “Yes.” I had invited him to cut some mushrooms for a creamy mushroom soup. I wanted to make life easier for him and said he only needed to cut the mushroom caps in half since I intended to use an immersion blender at the last stage but … for all the years I’ve known him as he’s cooked with mushrooms he slices them very thin. It has become rote. And so that it was he did today. It took time and effort and I was reminded of a statement from a young exercise buddy who said what he most admired about Steve was that he made the effort. He wouldn’t necessarily be successful but he made the effort and not everyone did that.
Since he’s returned home from most recent hospitalization … and it was a doozy … we’ve managed to binge watch all sorts of programming that other people may have already seen like, uhm, Poldark. I hope we make it to The Gilded Age. We watched the trailer for Dune 3 today and he said he wanted to see that which means we’ll have to rewatch Dune 1 and 2 and I don’t have a problem with that. I shared some things from my workplace about big upcoming events in 2027 and when asked would he like to see some of these events he said yes. Gives us plenty of time for planning. As much as any of us have control over time.
There are many sights I appreciate with Steve making it home once more to heal. Most involve him out of the bed sitting with family for lunch, playing chess with a friend, exercising even when it hurts, and bearing with me when I force, I mean invite, him to sit on the porch with me. I’ve learned to include incentives like mango lassi, chocolate ice cream and so forth. Still on soft foods for the present so I did have to rescue a chocolate bar from his grasp when he thought I wasn’t looking.
I am learning a lot on this journey with Steve. Though somehow I was recently called a legendary patient advocate … all I did was give voice to the fact to what is known that some folks heal better in home environment … I do remind myself that I am not perfect, I am not always patient and it is alright to ask for help. And its okay to treat myself which is why I splurged on a box of butter cookies yesterday. If we make it onto the porch later today I’ll nibble on them while Steve has some strawberry ice cream. Gotta put some healthy fat back on his bones.
As physical therapy ended yesterday, I stood next to Steve in his wheelchair to talk with the therapist. At some point the therapist began to smile. I looked down and saw that Steve was raising his arm to place about my waist. I started to help him and the therapist gently shook his head. Oh, right, I said. Good exercise! And I waited patiently for Steve to tighten his grip. And so it goes …
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