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Posts Tagged ‘flowers’

I’m actually having to wear a sweater as I sit on the porch this morning. It rained in the early hours though not enough based on the level of water in the birdbath. A gray day but still bright. A light that makes the white blooms luminous and the reds muted. Classical music wafts from the interior out here to me. As I look around I can see maybe one task for today out here, to properly plant the lemon verbena purchased this weekend.

The sorrel and sage I planted right away. Did a lot of deadheading this weekend and rearranging of chairs and small tables. Basically I reworked the accommodations that had been made for Steve’s wheelchair and long legs needing a significant turn radius to maneuver in and out of the house. So I made the sitting space tighter and more intimate and then clumped flowers, herbs and foliage for density. Then there’s some “white space” between the sitting area and the ramp. Nope haven’t removed the ramp yet. It’s actually convenient and it may prove useful if I need to roll some of the big pots into the house for overwintering.

The plants bordering the ramp are a bit chaotic if bright. Just playing around unprofessionally with color and height. I tend to buy what I can find in a moments notice, especially items on sale, and what I can ferry home by Uber or public transportation. I know that garden centers will deliver big pots/plants but I’m not ready for that investment. Maybe, for landscaping on the ground, in the spring. We’ll see.

So much of what evolved in this little garden space is a balance for my aesthetic desires and Steve’s strong interest in functionality and purpose. For instance he could appreciate the beauty of the strawflower and its biology … but they’re not edible and could a small tomato plant instead fit in that space? 🙂

We sure did have some interesting, ahem, conversations about edible flowers. You see, I bought several books on the subject. One day years ago I walked around the house and picked the petals of edible flowers, maybe a tulip and/or orchid. When Steve walked through the door, home for work, I just handed him the flowers and said, “Eat this.” He did and then raced for a sip of red wine (his go to medicinal when something tasted off) and then asked, “Why are you trying to kill me?” I held up the book. He threw up his arms. “Just because it’s edible doesn’t mean it tastes good!”

On this porch, our last one together, there are many culinary herbs. Of course, the basil, several pots, chives and oreganos, thymes, lavender and now the lemon verbena. I have to admit the chocolate mint is thriving and starting to smell better and better to me. There was a part of me soon after things happened where I considered just letting things go to seed and as things died I would simply clear the porch and not fill in … and then I could hear Steve’s voice. “Dear one, don’t be ridiculous.”

There is joy and well as tears in sitting on the porch whether quietly with a beverage or on the phone with friends as I juggle the phone and trying to put dirt in a pot. So far, so far, I have been able to make myself harvest something from the porch each evening for dinner. It is hard but can be fun to take a few moments to google how to use rosemary and oregano together and so on. When I shared with a friend at work about giving away the pinched basil because Steve was not here to make pesto, he said, “Understandable. And when you’re ready to make your own pesto, bring me some.” I agreed.

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The morning began with coffee on the porch and then a bit of sprucing out there. The tomato and pepper plants are done so I pulled them and then some deadheading of the marigolds and picking dead blossoms from the petunias so that they will continue to bloom. I need to figure out what a late summer/autumn porch will look like. Then back inside I went.

With a Mary Berry cooking series playing in the background I’ve been moving around the house continuing the clean up. I used Steve’s pocket knife to break down some boxes for recycling. We had amassed a huge number of pillows. I threw them on the bed planning to sort them and decide which ones to keep, etc. And in doing so I found a stack of lambs wool used to cushion Steve’s increasingly sensitive skin. Holding the wool made me a bit teary. Everything I touch evokes a memory. And what I hear. Mary Berry is in Marrakesh at the moment I think cooking flat bread. It could be hard to capture Steve’s attention but he really enjoyed watching the cooking shows. I think in part because he just loved to learn. An earlier Steve would have taken that flat bread recipe and added his own special twist.

The lambswool could not prevent him from eventually getting bed sores one of which became deep and then infected. Between bouts with cancer and strokes over the years it became increasingly difficult for him to fight infections of any sort. I think when people would look at his paperwork they’d be surprised by how much of a fighter he truly was until the very end. When I sit on the porch in the mornings next to an empty chair, I do miss him … and I am increasingly glad he is no longer suffering. I am thankful that he chose to stay with me for as long as he could and that he was home.

On the porch there is a dipladenia plant growing like mad. In the before times I would have asked Steve to make a trellis and tie it up so that the plant would grow upwards instead of outwards. He liked purposeful activities like that. But now is now and I’m going to make the trellis. I have some branches I collected that I need to trim using Steve’s saw and some twine and … I’ve got bandages galore in case something slips. But before I do any of that I am going to take a moment to purposefully and mindfully make myself a simple breakfast and then make my way to a favorite gardening store before it gets too hot and keep Steve in my heart and thoughts so that I don’t go crazy with the credit card. 🙂

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… it is probably best to do some good weeding before hitting multiple nurseries in one day. Didn’t pick up much but what I did I love. Let’s see if I can keep the strawflowers alive.

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… even as you’re leaving work and making your way back to the hospital to visit your spouse, you take a moment to pop into Trader Joe’s for some wonderfully inexpensive flowers. Not for him. For me! The potted organic basil that was for him. His neighbor this time around in a shared room was a very sweet Greek man who thought I was too skinny and so as I left Steve one day he made me take a piece of his wife’s cheesy cornbread. It was darn tasty as I stood there in the hallway waiting for the elevator to the main lobby.

He is home again, by the way. We have been too often to the hospital this year and we seem to be, ahem, a recognizable pair. Staff at different levels who’ve interacted with us over time, and so they know his journey, say that I am taking good care of him. I don’t know what they’re seeing but I’m happy they see whatever they are seeing. He now rests at home laying in bed listening, as I type, to compositions by Johannes Ockeghem as sung by the group Blue Heron. We used to attend the group’s concerts and we may do so again. I just asked if he might like to attend again one day and he said yes. We’ll see what the future holds. 🙂

You can learn more about Blue Heron here: https://www.blueheron.org/

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… there is no rhyme or reason to the gardening on the porch/patio. It is a riot of colors and styles.

Each morning I rise to peek out and see scattered dirt as the squirrels rise earlier then I do and begin their daily quest for food.

I’ve let the backyard go. The only that will be harvested from down on the ground will be garlic planted last fall. When I look down there is the afternoon light I can see many happy baby bunnies nibbling at all the weeds and things that are overgrown. I do appreciate the perennials that have come back and have no bunny-appeal.

While I do feel bad about the yard, I am glad about the porch. There’s an increasing number of patio-specific fruits and vegetables and its been fun learning about those. And, of course, of course, there is still room for plenty of basil for future pesto making.

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… survived the initial bunny attack and is somewhat thriving. Maybe bunnies don’t like the taste of cucumbers.

The pansies survived the birds snipping off its flowers to decorate early Spring nests.

The potatoes are thriving in their bucket nestled amidst the weeds.

And the scapes are forming on the garlic. Not sure how much more will be planted on the ground this growing season but feeling good about what’s out there right now.

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… but emerging white blossoms on the tree across the street. In the fall, this tree’s leaves turns bright red.

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It was quite lovely when it first fell and then the big flakes turned to sleet and then rain and then the sun burst forth. All the seasons in one day.

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I think I paid more for this bouquet of tulips than I meant to but when the afternoon winter light illuminates them I don’t really mind.

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I love when the sunlight falls upon the leaves of this cyclamen. It makes me pause in my day and it is important sometimes to simply pause.

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