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Posts Tagged ‘Father’s Day’

In Steve’s own words …

In Bangalore, I used to walk to the local Indian school, St. Anthony’s Boy’s School. Sometimes I took a rickshaw. The driver would be peddling on the street and I would wave him down. It was cheap and I had enough pocket money. I thought school was thorough and complete meaning subjects were covered thoroughly and completely without any gaps or holes. But when I went on to a British school in Bangalore I discovered there were holes in what I had been taught. It didn’t matter. I just loved learning and reading. Given that my father ran a library there were plenty of books at my disposal. My parents were open to me reading anything. There were no PTA (parent teacher association) meetings. No judgements. My father probably gave me the most books on all sorts of subjects. 

The dachshund would meet me when I walked home from school. My general routine after returning home was to put on outdoor clothes and go climb a tree. There were not so many other kids around. Sometimes a few. We lived on Richmond Road, a street with lots of bungalows. White people generally lived in these bungalows, mostly Brits. They worked for the state I guess maybe civil servants.

after first communion

My dad had a jeep as part of his job. On Sundays we would drive to mass at the Catholic church. I remember the building as spacious. Sometimes he would drive me to the library where he worked. That seemed spacious to me too. Everything seemed spacious to me back then. Even our bungalow.

I remember the bungalow had a veranda. I remember lots of plants on ours planted by the gardener and by my dad as well. My father liked to garden growing all kinds of plants edible and not. I remember everything from African violets to basil. 

In addition to the dachshund and siamese cat, he owned parakeets. About four or five blue parakeets in a green cage. He also kept fish in a standard fish bowl. They were just plain old fish not very interesting to me. He also kept two horses. He loved animals. He’d grown up on a farm in Nebraska. 

I fell from a mango tree and my dad looked at my arm and decided it was broken and took me to the doctor. I also fell while climbing a wall. A piece of the wall broke off in my hand and that’s how I fell. A stranger, an Indian man,  picked me up and took me up to the house. Broke my arm that time too catching myself with my hand and elbow beneath me. But aside from events like this I felt safe and happy in Bangalore.

I enjoyed the food. My first glass of water there I drank not realizing there were peppercorns in the glass. Overall the food was not spicy. We had a cook. He would make me fried chicken. When my father was entertaining he would take over the kitchen. He greatly enjoyed cooking. From him I learned how to make pesto. He was a good cook. 

My younger sister had been born in Italy. My mother had her hands full with me, a baby and my father and all our animals. She was very beautiful and always smelled nice. Like flowers.

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Detail from Early Work by Donald Langosy

untitled, detail from early work by painter donald langosy

In a crumbling building in a hipster city, a private collector has many early works of Mr. Langosy. It was my privilege to view them recently, and of all the works, this one stood out to me greatly, a father holding his child, his large hand cradling while a small hand reaches up. This detail from a study of a painting never completed captured fatherhood for me. I was reminded of my father, a large man, and how he used to hold my hand. Except for an occasional wild tale, my father was mostly a silent man, conveying a lot through touch. He didn’t often say “good job” or other words of praise.  It was a pat on the top of one’s head or his hand resting on your shoulder. Then you knew you’d done well. With Father’s Day approaching, he comes to mind of course. His hand I can hold no more but the memories are enough. And for those memories I am thankful.

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Would you believe I was restless this morning?  Probably the two cups of strong coffee.  I could not settle down to work with words or images.  Finally I began picking through a box with writing from years past — letters never mailed, musings, unfinished stories, etc.  I forgot to date the paper, but I expect the following piece was written around Father’s Day nearly fifteen years ago.  I probably wrote it while sitting on the back porch of my childhood home in Virginia.  After reading the words, would you believe I felt grounded?

Seasons

The sun shines bright and a cool breeze blows.  Spring has not yet arrived but I feel the change in the air.

Spring arrives and yet my father’s vegetable garden lies fallow.  Let it rest as he now rests.  His long journey has ended.

Let the land rest.  Rest your head, child. Sit still for it is the day of rest.  A verb that is used so often.  What does it mean, to rest?

A rest in music. A rest between words on paper.

To let your heart rest …

Resting seems scary somehow right now.

If one does rest, is it possible to pause for too long?  If so, what will quicken the heart, the spirit?   Will it be the sun’s rays, a cool breeze against bare skin, a lover’s lips?  Perhaps a bird’s song.

What if there is no breeze, no sun, no lover?

There are plenty of birds, though, even in the empty garden.  I suppose there are still seeds there beneath the earth.

What are those seeds doing there?

Well, I suppose my father would say that they are resting.

Yes, resting is what he would say.

The seeds are resting in the arms of the Earth awaiting their chance to grow.

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