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Posts Tagged ‘childhood memories’

In Virginia I grew up eating yellow onions. I remember them as small and in a mesh bag. The ones I buy up here seem gigantic in comparison. My dad also grew them. My mom used them a lot in cooking, in soups and stews, roasts, fried potatoes, etc. And I think on occasion we had white onions, perhaps Spanish onions. My dad loved raw onions on top of his greens. He used to tease my mom by taking a big bite of onion and then trying to kiss her. I wasn’t too keen on raw onions but loved the aroma that filled the air as they cooked. As I grew up and made my way out into the world I was introduced to the great variety of onions and tastes and textures. But again mostly cooked.

Early in our relationship Steve didn’t so much woo me by taking me out to eat. He was more inclined to prepare a meal however humble. A favorite was simply toasted bread, rubbed with garlic, a protein of some sort, maybe his homemade mayonnaise and then toppings. I was used to tomatoes but one day, after a visit to the farmer’s market, he returned with some red onions. As he sliced them, they were beautiful but when he offered me a slice I politely declined.

“Try this,” he encouraged. He made one of his little open-faced sandwiches and placed the red onion slice on top. “Please.”

With a sigh, I did so, and then said, genuinely, “That tastes good!”

He looked at me and said with a weird sincerity. “I love you.”

Steve and I bonded over food and I think that’s why it is so hard to eat without him. I certainly do eat but I find that sometimes, especially when I am home alone, it helps to lean into the creativity and it is in that creation that an appetite forms. So it is to slice an onion and slow roast it so that the aroma fills the air as I prepare another part of the meal. It is to purchase those vegetables that Steve wasn’t so inclined towards, like cabbage versus his much-beloved brussel sprouts, sauteing spinach (he preferred fresh if he must) with garlic and red pepper flakes. Lots of pepper, black and jalapeno, in meals these days where appropriate. I need flavor. I still have a porch full of fresh herbs and they too provide inspiration that leads to creativity.

I did develop an appetite for mushrooms from him. And though in a previous post I called him stubborn for trying to continue thinly slicing his shitake mushrooms instead of a more rustic chop given his physical challenges, I do find myself in a quiet peaceful place when I now thinly slice the mushrooms and, yes, on occasion, I do smile.

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sunset through my kitchen window

When I was a child, I used to shadow my mother as she roamed about our house.  Together, through all manner of windows, we would peer out into the day.  These were often quiet times with my mother deep in thought.  But always eventually she would remember that I was by her side, and she would say, “Do you see it?”  As I pressed my face to the kitchen window, she’d point out things like, “The robin in the walnut tree?  See the sunlight on its breast?”  At night, gazing through the glass living room door, she would nod toward a single star.  “See that one?  Sparkling in the branches of the pear tree.  That’s mine,” she’d say with a grin.

blowing bubbles through an open window

As I grew older, the tables turned, so to speak.   In college and well-beyond, whenever and wherever I traveled (before the days of cell phones), I would drag the hotel phone to my perch at a window and describe to her all that I saw through my portal.  Her reactions to what I shared certainly influenced by storytelling skills.  From her I learned that windows framed moments as well as provided sources of light.

I’ve been lucky at this phase of my life to live in a space with many windows. With camera in-hand I am able to take full advantage of what mom taught me.  She is on my mind today as a soft light falls illuminating the oak tree outside my window.  On one branch a gray squirrel sits with cheeks bulging with acorns.  Two branches up, a blue jay diligently cracks and consumes its own share of nuts.  They both ignore me though I must be as viewable to them as they are to me.  As I watch this sight, I think of the past and my window-time with mom but I also think of the present and future.  That young friend I mention on occasion, the one with whom I draw, is older.  A whopping four-years old.  And as she visits now, one of her first requests of me is, “Can we look out all the windows?”  How can I say no?

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You just never know where inspiration is gonna come from.

Have you noticed on the back of cars there are often decals indicating the make up of the family? White stick figures roughly indicating gender, age, etc.  The usual line up is X number of parents, X number of children, and X number of cats and dogs.   So the other day Steve and I are out driving.  At a stop light, we see different decals on the car in front of us.  They  indicate the family is composed of two adults and their two ferrets.  We knew they were ferrets because the word ferret had been applied to the car under the image of two long cat-like creatures.  I wasn’t hugely surprised.  Over the years I’ve made the acquaintance of a few New Englanders owning pet ferrets.  What surprised me was hearing the following words said softly beside me, “I miss my mongoose.”

My only childhood experience of a mongoose was watching the animated version of Rikki-Tikki-Tavi on television with my younger brother when I was seven.  As far as I know there were no mongoose in Virginia.  But Steve, whose father served in the U.S. foreign service,  spent several years of his childhood in India.  And there, in a bungalow in Bangalore, he was allowed to add a pet mongoose to his menagerie that already included a Dachshund and Siamese cat.  “The cat used to carry the mongoose around like a kitten, with a hold on the back of its neck.  And the dog allowed the mongoose to pummel its stomach as they all settled down to sleep together.  Quite clearly the mongoose was in charge.”

“Just imagine,” Steve adds with a smile, “A Dachshund, a mongoose, and a Siamese cat walk into a room.  There’s a story there, don’t you think?”  Undoubtedly, especially when you add in a towheaded little boy.

Animal images from http://www.fantom-xp.com/

Steve image by his father circa late 1950’s.

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