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Posts Tagged ‘fish’

fanshaped

Again, I think it was one of those moments when, if a child had been crossing the bridge, he or she would have asked me, “What are you looking at? What are you taking pictures of over there?” But adults, for the most part, tend to be more polite or simply distant. So, while I think I stood there quite a while in that spot on the bridge that crosses the Mystic, I only received sidelong glances. No one asked me any questions. No one came over to peer over the rail where I focused my camera. What would they have seen? I suppose a dead fish floating in the shallows is not the most enticing sight but I’m telling you … in that sunlight in those moments as its form rose and fell with roll of the water, it was beautiful.

fanshaped2

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Koi in a pond near North Point Park in Cambridge, MA.

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One can of sardines, drained, placed on a small plate, topped with fresh cut onions and herbs, a drizzle of olive oil, and a sprinkle of black pepper. That’s all.  Okay, okay … there was some homemade mayonnaise on the side along with some toasted bread.  An impromptu dinner after being too lazy to go to the store. 😉

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… mad at some things that had happened around me.  Things that were kind of like bits of straw raining down upon a camel’s back.  What I felt was certainly legit but I also felt myself getting angrier than I needed to be.  I wanted to redirect that anger. A long walk, my method of choice, was out of the option because of the cold.  Yet I was determined not to do what I remember my mom having penchant for doing which was to sit in a literal and figurative dark place.  I was not ready to talk about what was bothering me.  There were no words quite formed for me to write.  What do do, what to do.  I decided to follow the advice I sometimes give to others when they tell me that they are tired of talking or that they cannot write (“I don’t know how to write. You’re the writer!”).  What do I suggest?  Draw.  So, I sat down to draw.  Now I almost stopped myself.  Why? Because I can’t draw.  Yes, I’ve dabbled in this that and the other thing but really even with the help of a ruler, I can’t make a straight line!  Then I took a deep breath and decided not to worry about straight lines. Curves can be cool.

As for what to draw … now I’ve been having this ongoing conversation with one of my little postcard penpals.  He’s my four-year old nephew living down in Virginia.  I’ve been sending him pictures of birds and squirrels and such.  He’s tasked with drawing me a fish.  Or a school of fish.  Maybe a shark.  As I sat at my desk in the bright sunlight, I drew fish for him and for myself, bright colored, imperfect, smiling fish.  My anger did not disappear but it came into perspective.  I have not sent the fishy bookmarks to the little guy.  I want to give him time to draw his fish for me and for himself in whatever colors of the rainbow he decides.

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the white fish found

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I passed by a pond of what I thought were all orange koi fish.  Then, out of the blue, I spied a white fish with gold accents.  A ghostly figure that I really wanted to capture amidst the reflections in the water.  Mostly unsuccessful … he kept dipping deeper into the water.  But what I caught, and what I remember, are magical to me.

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I have always appreciated the “zen of fishing.”  Placing a line in the water and just reflecting on life as I watch the wind make ripples upon the water.  But this time, for the first time, something actually took the bait.  It was a little fellow thrown back into the depths.  We’ll see what happens next time. 😉

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