A little over ten years ago I began telling friends and co-workers that I wanted to go fishing. For the most part, they’d all gently laugh. You see, at first glance, most people would not have considered me — a small brown woman often with a book in hand, sipping lattes in Starbucks — as the fishing sort. Yet something about the concept of fishing suddenly appealed to me. Perhaps it was romantic idealism based on childhood memories of fishing scenes in old television shows. Or maybe it was remembered tales told by my dad of his firsthand experiences fishing in the backwoods of Virginia. Whatever the reason, fishing brought to mind a beautiful calm. And though I could not articulate it clearly even to myself, a bit of calm was what I needed at that point in my life. Eventually, a friend in the office, a young man who’d grown up in a coastal city near Boston, looked at me over the lunchroom table and said with a big grin, “Okay, lady. You take a day off, I’ll take you fishing.” In short, it was a wonderful day of sitting on a rocky shore with our poles in the dark blue waters of the Atlantic. Our hooks were baited with squid. Older gents would share tips with us “youngsters.” We caught nothing except what I needed most: calm. Fast forward to the present …
Recently, Steve offered me the opportunity to fish at a popular spot near Castle Island. It would be my first time fishing since that desperately needed excursion over a decade ago. This time around I felt no “need” of anything from the trip. I simply wanted to share a new experience with a person important in my life, and to try my hand again at an activity I remembered as fun. Heck, I thought, this time around I might even catch a fish.
We used squid as the tasty lure. Once the hook had been baited, Steve taught me how to cast (last time the fellow did it for me). As I stood at the rail holding the rod, I was aware of the looks we received from the neighboring fishermen. As you can see I am still not quite up to speed on fishing attire. A few people came over to chitchat. I let Steve do all the talking. I stared out into the sea.
I watched the rippling of the water and the gentle rise and fall of the waves. In the ephemeral light of the cloudy day, every shade of blue appeared on the water’s surface. For just a moment. No fish did I see but I kept imagining them down in the dark depths, nibbling on my squid. Birds flew overhead. Sailboats drifted by. In the end, I caught nothing except of course that calm. Unexpected but welcome. A treat. As Steve and I walked back to the car, and he outlined our strategy for next time so that we’d actually catch something, I realized I didn’t need to a catch a fish. It was the journey that mattered to me, not the destination. When I shared that revelation with Steve, he was quiet for a moment, then said, “I respect your feelings. But let’s test that theory once you actually have a fish on the line.”
Hmmm. We’ll see … 😉
… red paper. Maybe. I’ll let you know how it goes. 😉
Words + Images 