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Posts Tagged ‘life’

sunset through my kitchen window

When I was a child, I used to shadow my mother as she roamed about our house.  Together, through all manner of windows, we would peer out into the day.  These were often quiet times with my mother deep in thought.  But always eventually she would remember that I was by her side, and she would say, “Do you see it?”  As I pressed my face to the kitchen window, she’d point out things like, “The robin in the walnut tree?  See the sunlight on its breast?”  At night, gazing through the glass living room door, she would nod toward a single star.  “See that one?  Sparkling in the branches of the pear tree.  That’s mine,” she’d say with a grin.

blowing bubbles through an open window

As I grew older, the tables turned, so to speak.   In college and well-beyond, whenever and wherever I traveled (before the days of cell phones), I would drag the hotel phone to my perch at a window and describe to her all that I saw through my portal.  Her reactions to what I shared certainly influenced by storytelling skills.  From her I learned that windows framed moments as well as provided sources of light.

I’ve been lucky at this phase of my life to live in a space with many windows. With camera in-hand I am able to take full advantage of what mom taught me.  She is on my mind today as a soft light falls illuminating the oak tree outside my window.  On one branch a gray squirrel sits with cheeks bulging with acorns.  Two branches up, a blue jay diligently cracks and consumes its own share of nuts.  They both ignore me though I must be as viewable to them as they are to me.  As I watch this sight, I think of the past and my window-time with mom but I also think of the present and future.  That young friend I mention on occasion, the one with whom I draw, is older.  A whopping four-years old.  And as she visits now, one of her first requests of me is, “Can we look out all the windows?”  How can I say no?

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This is my nephew, “Little J.”  How could I not smile when peering into that face?  If you’ve followed my blog at all then you know that family is very important to me.  The older I grow the more I recognize that family forms my core.  Maybe one day I’ll bundle up the family stories I’ve shared on this blog and in other venues into a book for Little J and the other young members of my family.  We’ll see … 😉

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… a young girl — let’s call her Amy — who recently got into a fight with a group of young girls who were her friends.  A physical fight with nails scratching and hair pulling.  Only they know the reasons why friendship became aggression.  A day or so later perhaps indeed the world righted itself and they all became friends again.  That’s what the leader of the group of girls said as she tried to enter Amy’s home.  But Amy’s grandmother sat on the stoop and would not let them pass.

She said, “I do not know why you did what you did to my grandchild.  I do not care what you say now, that you want to play and not fight.  You shall not enter this house without removing me first.”

The girls looked at her, how frail she was. A good wind would blow her over.

The grandmother returned the look and shook her head. “I love my grandchild, do you hear?  I love that child and,” she added without hesitation,  “I love you too.”

The girls, all of them, walked away without further word.

“A couple of them did look back at me,” my aunt told me this weekend.  “I was a little worried they might try to jump me,” she added with a chuckle.  “But they didn’t.”

I told my aunt that I think she may have planted some good seeds in the  hearts and minds of those girls, seeds she could water by simply inviting them to dinner.

“Just imagine that!” I exclaimed.  “Those girls and your granddaughter around your kitchen table next Sunday.”

She just laughed.

 

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Yesterday’s article highlighted how much the kitchen inspires the photographer in me like in the above image.  Here I remember I just wanted to play around with the colors white and blue.  The kitchen also inspires the writer in me, in part, because the sights and the scents bring back so many happy childhood memories of growing up in Virginia.  For most of my childhood my parents and my brothers and I only went into the living room for a few hours at night to watch television and on Sunday afternoons to greet family and friends visiting after church.  Otherwise, we were in the kitchen around the table eating or playing games.  In talking with my oldest brother, I recently realized that when he shares family stories they most often center in the kitchen as well.  The latest stories focused on our father’s wine making.  More to follow about that! 😉

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One day at the church where I work part-time, a tourist handed me a wallet found on the front porch.  I glanced inside at the driver’s license.  I don’t remember the name on the card but I remember the owner’s image.  Handsome with thick dark hair and bright blue eyes.  I could see just enough of his shirt and tie to make me think he was a businessman of some sort.  I closed the wallet and tucked it into a little cubby until I could take it to lost and found.  Shortly thereafter, a man entered my area.  I smelled him before I saw him.  Not body odor, just stale alcohol.  His clothes were wrinkled and too big for his scrawny frame.  Thinning brown hair was slicked back.  The blue eyes were the same, though, gently electric.  In a slurred voice he thanked me and then left.  I had the luxury of sitting inside for the rest of the afternoon wondering what had happened to transform that man.  Was he homeless as I suspected?  What was his story?  Well, that story I may never know, and if I were to see him again I am not sure I would have the courage to ask.  But I am glad there are people in this world not afraid to ask like Mark Horvath.

On the street I saw a small girl cold and shivering in a thin dress, with little hope of a decent meal. I became angry and said to God; “Why did you permit this? Why don’t you do something about it?” For a while God said nothing. That night he replied, quite suddenly:

“I certainly did something about it. I made you.”

That is the opening quote on the About page of  Horvath’s InvisiblePeople.tv blog.  The invisible people to which he refers are the homeless.  And here are the links for the organization’s YouTube channel  and his more personal blog, HardlyNormal.  I hope you take time to watch some of the videos shot by Horvath as he interviews the homeless.  Once homeless himself after making some bad decisions, he has a knack for drawing people out of their shells and encouraging them to tell their stories in their own words without fear of judgement.  Please take a look and listen.

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It might be the grandest of understatements to say that it is hard to discuss race and ethnicity in the United States.  It does not matter that we have an African American president.  It does not matter that there are African, Latino, Asian and Native American politicians at all levels from city clerks to state governors.  It does not matter that some of the highest paid athletes,  musicians and actors in this country have some tint to their skin.  Huck Finn by Mark Twain is still banned in many American schools, except for a sanitized version that removes the word “nigger.”

A good friend of mine called a few months ago to tell me that she was giving up her subscription to a popular runner’s magazine.  Now this friend is a marathon runner.  It is hard to describe how important running is to her spirits.  Why was she giving up this treat to herself?  Because while the articles were fine she was tired of never seeing anyone in it that looked like her.  My friend is a beautiful dark-skinned African American woman.  After talking with her I paid more attention to the magazines surrounding me in the checkout line of the grocery store, and certainly in the bookstores.  I challenge you to take a closer look when you go to these places.  What do you see on the covers? Beautiful women for sure … and beautiful women who all look the same week after week.

It’s easy to say the right words:  We are all equal.  I treat everyone the same.  There is equal opportunity.  There will be no discrimination of anyone based on skin color, gender, etc.  It is easy to say those words.  And then there is what we do and there is what our children see.  And right now there are too many children who do not see themselves reflected in the every day world around them.  Obama is President but most children are not interacting with the President every day.  Their sense of self  — their sense of beauty — is being shaped by what they see revered on tv, in the movies, and yes, in magazines.  People far more eloquent than I have written on this subject, and I hope they continue to do so.  As for what sparked this morning’s post …  Chancing upon the following images by French artist Titouan Lamazou, and wondering sadly why images of such beautiful women are so rarely found outside of an art gallery.

By the way, the photograhs in this post are of my skin.  Nothing racy, just a shoulder.  A brown shoulder. 😉

* Shoulder Series Images by SFH

* Lamazou images can be found at Nouvelle Images and his website here.

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One hot summer, in a church bookshop, I worked with a young woman that everyone called “the little red-headed girl.”  She was far younger than anyone else working there, a recent high school graduate.  She was a joy to work with.  There was such an air of innocence about her that the rest of us tried to look out for her.  It’s not that we worked in a rough neighborhood.  But that particular summer there were many incidents with homeless men who drank too much.  There was panhandling, a few fights, and sleeping in the pews.  The police were called often.  So when the little red-headed girl sat at the main entrance of the church, as we all did at some point in our shifts, we worried about her.  She was always fine, and would later relay funny stories of incidents with parishoners, tourists and sometimes the homeless men.   Because of her youth, some of us more jaded folk found ourselves on occasion smiling condescendingly … especially when we discovered what she was doing with the angel coins.  You see, the bookshop sold pewter angel coins for a dollar each.  The girl would regularly buy several coins.  When asked why, she explained that she gave them to people — friends and family for sure, but also to strangers on the street.  Eventually the summer neared its end.  The red-headed girl headed off to her first year of college.

Perhaps a week or two later, I sat at the front desk.  I watched as a man approached the glass doors of the entrance way.  He did not know or care that I could see him as he tried to make himself presentable, wiping his face with his shirt tails and using saliva to smooth back his hair.  When he entered, as I expected, he reeked of alcohol.  I simply said, “Welcome. How may I help you?”

He wrung his hands.  “I’m here for the AA meeting.”

I glanced at the clock.  “Sir, I’m sorry, but the AA meeting is three hours from now.  Just come back and …”

“Don’t send me away.  Please let me wait in there,” he said, indicating the sanctuary.  “If I leave now, I won’t come back.”

“Sir,” I said softly, “You know the church’s policy …”

“I’ll pray, ” he said.

“You can’t fall asleep.”  My shift was nearly over.  I wouldn’t be able to go in and wake him up before security tossed him out.

“I won’t,” he promised.

Still feeling uncertain, I smiled and opened the door.  As he entered the sanctuary, he turned to me.  “Is that red-headed girl here?”

“Why do ask, sir?”

He reached into his pocket.  “She gave me this,” he said as he held out his hand.  An angel coin, of course.  “I’ve been holding it tight since she gave it to me one day.”  He placed it carefully back in his pocket, stepped inside the sanctuary, sat in a pew and bowed his head.  I don’t know if he prayed.  I don’t know if he made it to the AA meeting.  I don’t know where he is this day.  I just know from that incident that hot summer I learned from a little red-headed girl what a difference a small gift can make.

 

 

 

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Life and death connected as part of a cycle of existence.  That is the thought that comes to mind as I review these pictures taken by the Charles River yesterday.  It was sunlight glinting on the scales of the fish that initially caught my eyes.  And, then, the longer I looked, the more I saw.

 

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Here’s my short list of things making me smile at this moment:

* a small red clay frog sitting on my desk, its bright black eyes shining in the lamplight.  I bought it for my friend Melissa but I keep forgetting to mail it to her.

* the wily little mouse in Steve’s kitchen and Steve’s fervent wish that it would simply learn to wear diapers.  Meanwhile he’s feeding it … I mean baiting it … with increasingly gourmet concoctions, from hummus to fresh strawberries.

* recent conversations with my oldest brother as he shares more family stories from a time when I was too little to notice anything but a baby bottle.

*beautiful African images (see above) just shared by a nephew who has more of the travel bug in his blood than his world-traveling aunt ever did.

Maybe there will be more things by the end of the day.  I must admit the impetus for this post was just viewing Ron Gutman’s TED video, The Hidden Power of Smiling.

So … what’s making you smile?  😉

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